I’ve discovered its so easy to fall in and out of writing. So much has happened since the last update, and yet, I have very little to say. Only fragments, easily stated facts that protrude no real emotion or feeling. Me and Rosie went to Parihaka. I performed infront of old friends and new friends, and showed an old enemy how far I’ve come. The radio is playing static because they had to shut it down. My music is no longer on the radio, and my dad’s Sunday afternoon is now free. I started re-writing my novel and then stopped. My NCEA results came back as I expected, passable, and it shows what little interest some of the subjects hold for me (In particular English, strange given my interest in using words, but somehow writing essays about how this author used this as a symbol for this without any sort of evidence from the author.) I’m still looking for a job, as I was snubbed (again), not even recieving a phone call in decline. I am composing, the last pieces of the next EP are falling into place and as soon as school starts recording will begin.
I am watching with interest the flowers of romance blooming between people, and in others, I see nothing but a continous worrying decline. It’s sad to see that when I arrive back at school so many people will have moved on, some I will never ever see again in this lifetime. Because of my recent snub at Mimic, I find myself unable to design anything. I have witnessed the destructive power of words, how one sentence can cause tears and hurt. But even in a sea of averageness and the plain, how dull my life seems to be currently, Ro lights up what could be even the most darkest of days. She is my everything right now. There is no doubt in my mind this year will be my most difficult yet. But I also know the reward will be equally as astronomical. I have found myself forced to make a goal, one that is so vitally important that anything other than success will mean a total failure:
I must get Grade 5 Theory, or pass a rediculously hard Level 3 paper, otherwise I will be unable to do a degree in Music Composition. I have no back-up, nothing to fall back on if my dream falls through, It’s just a straight plummet to the ground.
Thank God I have Ro.
