Who Cares When It Tastes Good?

I’m not one of those people who read nutritional labels to check if it has poisonous artificial sweetners, and the effects. However, following my post on my coffee consumption, I did take a quick look at the stats of some of the bottles and cans that littter my litter can. Somehow. So anyways, a rundown of the danger I’ve put myself in over the year or so:

Demon, 440mL a can. Max Recommended intake is 1 can daily.
Per 100mL there is:

• 192kJ of Energy
•  0.3863g of Protein
• Fat, both Total and Saturated, is simply listed as “less than 1g”
• 10.9g of Carbohydrates; 10.8g of which is sugars.
• Sodium, like Fat, is listed only as “less than 5mg”
• 32mg of Caffeine
• 7.8mg of Niacin
• 2.0mg of Vitamin B6
• 2.0ug of Vitamin B12
• 2.0mg of Pantothenic Acid
• 400mg of Taurine
• 235mg of Glucuronolactone
• 19mg of Inositol

Before I continue onwards with the listing, some things here confuse me – mainly the vagueness of Fat and Sodium. Why is it for these two they assure us they are at such a low level (less than a gram) that we need not worry about specifics, but they do inform us later on that there is exactly 2micrograms of Vitamin 12, or 0.000002 grams. Something smells off, and I wonder what the last 7 are, bar Taurine.

Niacin is actually Vitamin B3, and is plays a vital role in metabolism.
Vitamin B6, or Pyridoxal phosphate, is helpful for people with autism, but does little to people who are well.
Vitamin B12 is known to cause Diarrhea. D:
Pantothenic Acid is actually Vitamin B5, and has be known to help acne.
Glucuronolactone is a naturally occuring detoxicant, and it not only reduces fatigue but also provides a sense of well-being.
Inositol intake has shown promising results for people suffering from problems such as bulimia, panic disorder and bipolar depression (none of which I suffer).

Now, moving onto Redbull. 250mL bottle/can. Max Recommended intake is 2 cans/bottles a day.
Per 100mL there is:

•  192kJ of Energy
• ZERO grams of Protein and Fat (both total and saturated) WTF?
• 11.3g of Carbohydrate, 10.7g of which are sugars
• 800mg of Sodium
• 400mg of Taurine
• 240mg of Glucuronolactone
• 32mg of Caffeine
• 20mg of Inositol
• 8mg of Niacinamide (a nicer version of Niacin)
• 2mg of Pantothenic Acid
• 2mg of Vitamin B6
• 2ug of Vitamin B12

Okay, quick question Red Bull: if there is no Protein or Fats in this product, why the hell list them? At least in Demon they acknowledge they’re there.

Lastly, Black V. The bottle is 350mL, and the Max Recommended intake is a perplexing 1.5 Bottles daily.
100mL of the stuff gives you:

• 192kJ of Energy (who doesn’t these days)
• Again Zero grams of Protein and Fat.
• 10.4g of Carbs, 10.4g of which is sugars.
• 110mg of Sodium
• 120mg of V’s selling point and as the bottle informs me is it’s “Wooh-hoo”, Guarana Extract
• 31mg of Caffeine
• 0.49mg of Vitamin B2
• 2.9mg of B3
• 0.46mg of B6
• 0.57ug of B12
• 0.7mg of Pantothenic Acid
• 400mg of Taurine
• 25mg of Glucuronolactone
• 20mg of Inositol

There it is. With the exception of V which has Guarana, by looking at all these stats, give or take a few mg shifted around, it is essentially the same crap. The only difference really is in the flavourings, so if you have to drink these things find the cheapest one and forget all the others. So buy a case of Demon and a case of toilet paper.

Want Some Coffee With Your Sugar?

I’ve begun to notice something in my drinking habits, not of the alcoholic kind, but of the caffeinated kind. Before I elaborate on this I first need to fill you in with the back story.

I, like many of fellow man, first had caffeine from Coca-Cola. It was sugary, it fizzed and like the little 4 year-old I was I found this entertaining to max. As I grew older I grew to have a sort of addiction to it, it was my drink of choice, however it was very hard to get hold of as I couldn’t afford the $3 for a bottle. This however changed in Year 7 when I discovered that at the Woolworths across the street from FDMC was selling 1 Litre bottles of budget cola for $1. It wasn’t as fine and precise as the actual Coca-Cola but it filled in quite comfortably. Every lunchtime someone would have bought some at the Tuckshop or someone in the morning had one, always prepared to share a “Maori cup” of the stuff.

I have never been a fan of tea, but I think this previous exposure in my early years lead me to be a coffee-only person. I remember my first cup of coffee, a short black bought for me by a 49-year old retired policeman, Mike, who was with me and two others in Mcfarlenes trying to write our NaNoWriMo novels in November 2006. I fell in love instantly (With the coffee not Mike you douche), and from then on I would always have it black, moving eventually onto long black, with one sugar.

It’s also at this time I discovered energy drinks, and this is where the weird thing comes in – as I have progressed through the energy drinks, moving onto harder and stronger things (I started with Lift+, then went onto V, then V Black and now, Demon), my normal coffee consumption has moved onto weaker and weaker stuff. I found myself the other day having a Cinnamon Chai Latte. I suppose it’s just my body trying to balance out the consumption levels but I still think it’s weird.

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

What The Fuck?

That is the question I found myself asking today after a long game of hide and go seek. Why the **** do we have wars?

Seriously??

All the ever results from wars are:

a.) Loss of money
b.) Loss of resources
c.) Loss of life
and d.) More f***ing wars

The only answer behind it all is just a load of backhanded slaps and handkerchief whipping between politicians from different countries who have weak drunken brawls after one too many glasses of gin and tonic. Now all you conspiracy theorists can interpret my stance from that above statement anyway you wish (I’m looking at Rosie (<3) and her mother (who according to the Institute of Mal I “Luv”)) but in the long run it isn’t going to get you anywhere, and this in turn is quite similar to track running. I myself have done track running and find it rather amusing, especially when the other participants realise that after all that wasted hot air they’ve found themselves back where they started. Wow, that is an impressive metaphor on war. Hopefully then George will die of a heart attack soon as he’s been going around and around this track for sometime, and has been carefully leading America with him like the mother of person with Down’s Syndrome who will take them to events and parties but always seems to be smiling and holding their hand.

All in all wars are just warts without the t.

It’s Time To Take The Dive

Woo, it’s New Years Eve. Just got back from getting meat for tonights shin-dig at Dom’s, who knew you could get so many sausages at such a price? I wasn’t informed anyways.

While thinking about the fact it is New Year’s Eve, where everyone stays up to midnight to welcome the new year, and making foolhardy decisions of improving your life for the better, I stumbled on an important question:

Why?

It seems for some odd reason that just because we’ve added another number to calender that this somehow correlates to starting again, being fresh and new, when really the world is still as crummy as before and that dream of having the world join hands and sing “We Are The World” will have to wait till next year, or at least after the big “superpowers” get off there metophorical high-chairs and stop playing with those damn toy airplanes and soldiers and instead start messing with the blocks in the corners and actually kill this developed nations / third-world nations gap that is ever increasing.

Back on the topic, this realisation occurs on January 2nd, when people march back to their 9-5 job, and is probably the reason behind why most New Year’s Resolutions die on this day. It is interesting to look at how we not only celebrate New Year’s Day but also New Year’s Eve, as With Christmas Eve (if your that way inclined), Boxing Day, All Hallows Eve, Good Thursday (again if your that way inclined)…. why the obsession? I would like to also point out that why, in a country that has no state religion that Good Friday and Christmas Day, both Christian dates, are state holidays that everyone must observe. Isn’ the point of having no state religion is that everyone can observe their own beliefs. The Israelites down the street, trying to run a buisness, have to close on Christmas Day.

I’m going to learn how to make Ambrosia.

Being Hit Over The Head Repeatedly

I have been the victim of an avalanche of “mysterious txts” in the past 2 days, and am rather tired of them – and I truthfully don’t see the point in them. I mean, I’m not suddenly going to drop Rosie because someone who I’ve never met confesses their love to me and can’t say their name (although I can understand Mal was making a joke with that one). I am not new to this, I regularly got the txts during my years at Francis Douglas because all the people thought I was a freak and therefore an easy target to cyberbully one Sunday afternoon because they were bored. But they went away when I changed to Spotswood and there was much rejoicing on my part. But out of nowhere I have had no less than 3 people do this in the past 2 days. It is nice to think that I have secret admirers out there but really its starting to get a tad on the side of being a bit annoying and bit uncomfortable. I didn’t ask for this, I’ve just been attack randomly. I’m sorry if people think I’m weird and therefore they have the right to walk all over me but it’s the way I am and I’ve found a lot of nice people who like me because of it. So go suck a lemon and lick a doorknob. (Mal can ignore that, much love).

And since when is there a difference in definition between “Luv” and “Love”?? I’m not a connoisseur, nor was I elected as grammarian of Mr. Kibby’s 10G Social Studies class but I’m no fool when it comes to the English language. While I have my own stance on the txt speak phenomenon, and the absolute stupidity of it (how is it that in an examinations, tests of complex knowledge and understanding that people are allowed to answer tlkn lyk dis?), I can see how, especially when txt message space is limited that abbreviations can come in handy. But now we have “Luv”, which I am informed is the love shared between friends, and “Love” is reserved for family and partners.

Wtf?

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/theroyalchannel I rofl, so so hard.